Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
