i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
