They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
