whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
being pregnant is like rehab
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
