i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You are the jesus of drinking
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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