I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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