Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
