I hope mine doesn't look like that
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
