if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
