Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
this will be a night to untag.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
