There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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