Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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