he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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