problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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