am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
