STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
