that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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