You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
