I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
