Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
