conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
