I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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