Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
