last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
