So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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