I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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