Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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