Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
