Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
