Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
