Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
