real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
