i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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