Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
