Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
