I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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