whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
