honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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