I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
