Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
