69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
