I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
