i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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