this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
