Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
