Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
