Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
