fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
