I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
