He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
