Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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