He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
