i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
